As professional learning/capacity building consultants have you ever noticed that we are oftentimes what is offered as a “bonus” to grantees? Clients and funders, we know you may not intend to hire us through this lens. And yet, many times it does come through this way.

Where consulting services are procured by boards, leadership teams and funders as a demonstration of support, as a tool to show that the people holding the purse strings recognize that grantees can’t be expected to know how to do everything, they should get the “training” needed in order to enact the changes the funders want.

Sadly, friends, this ends up that we consultants are sometimes pawns in a grantor-grantee game.

>>>Even when we know that their request doesn’t match best practices in youth development...

>>>Even when we set our intentions to “help educate the funder” in hopes they learn and do better next time…

>>>Even when we know at our core how adults *actually* learn best…

As consultants, we sometimes look away from the fact that we’re being sucked in to do someone else’s bidding.

Why? Of course you know why–this is our livelihood. And someone has offered to pay us to do work with love with people we love.

All we have to do is…promote their angle on current research, ensure that grantees attend and complete the form, and make sure that everyone is happy, especially the funder.

As consultants, we sometimes find ourselves wearing different masks or shifting our work to represent the priorities of the funder or client. As humans with lived experience and expertise in this field, how do we maintain our own integrity and support clients toward the real mission: centering youth development?

I’m not proud to say that we have in the past worked this way, and–like many of you–have taken the difficult road of disentangling ourselves from this way of working. I had a vulnerable and frank call last week with a colleague where we shared our badge-of-honor stories of clients we parted ways with. She shared how maintaining her own integrity as a consultant has resulted in things like:

Losing client contracts
Being ex-communicated by peer consultants
Not being invited to join proposals by larger “prime” or “lead” organizations

That resonated with me–we at DWL have experienced similar reactions over our 23 year history. And we still struggle with it. But we still simply cannot be anything other than who we are.

As long standing advisors and coaches in the youth development field, we have come to some specific things that we don’t do. We don’t:

Tell clients what they want to hear. We ask a lot of questions and then share what they need to hear.
Fill the client's order. We help figure out the underlying issues and generate solutions.
Fall for trends of the moment. We advise, teach and represent ways of being with adults that align with foundational principles of positive youth development.
Lowball so we can win. We offer the value of ongoing, transformational work so clients don’t have to hire us to fix the same issue again and again.
Bad mouth or pigeonhole colleagues. We respect our peers and take collective responsibility to support and build the strength of consultants in our field so no one feels pressured to be a yes-person and everyone continues to be able to enjoy this consulting life.

Yes, we have lost clients. Yes, we have actively turned down large contracts. Yes, we have been uninvited from joining proposals of peers. And yes, we have refused contracts with too many strings attached.

But, when we don’t submit–when YOU don’t submit–what does that do for the field? How does that support our true mission? The world does not benefit from us shrinking back. Nobody benefits if our experience, passion and commitment are not part of the conversation.

“Nobody benefits if our experience, passion and commitment are not part of the conversation. ”

For those of you who represent funders or contracting agencies, I wonder:

How much are you looking for our lived experience, expertise, perspective and care to support or buoy your work?
How much are you looking for “another pair of hands” to get something done in your name?

There’s a time a place for both. And, yet, if we all are truly here to support youth development, agency and voice…don’t we want to bring in the voices of those who have gone before us? Many of whom are now in consulting/advising roles?

I truly believe things do not need to be how they are. They could be otherwise. I know we can create a different way of being with each other so we all can benefit and our work can truly move our mission forward.

Let’s start with connecting with each other. Contracting agencies and funders as well as independent consultants and consulting firms are openly invited to join the National Youth Development Consultant and TA Provider Network where we can begin to reimagine our work and amplify how we can truly catalyze a youth-centered society. Consultants and TA Providers, please complete the survey here to get in on the ground level of this network’s development. Your thoughts and insights drive the development of this work.

Youth Development Consultants: 5 Things We Will Not Do